In Buddhism, there is a philosophy (in my own words) that we suffer and struggle because we get “hooked” into attachment or aversion.
1. In attachment, we really want/like something (like feeling happy about an relationship) or
2. In aversion, we really don’t want/like something (like the fear that comes with vulnerability)
and so, we begin to create stories to support either our attachment or aversion.
We “narrate” – so to speak – a story that hooks us deeper and deeper into struggle either because we’re afraid of losing the thing we really want or because we’re uncomfortable with the thing we really don’t like.
This – unfortunately – traps us exactly where we are, which is usually a pretty miserable place of fear and anxiety, and creates a death loop of narration of a belief around struggle that we need to narrate for validation…and if you’ve seen Sharknado, you know how death loops end.
When I catch myself in any part of the death loop lately, I have been doing a very simple practice. I just ask myself
“How do I actually feel about the actual facts as they are now?”
This forces me to:
a: Stop making shit up. I have to look at real facts (not the ones I’ve been creating for the sake of potentiality)
b: Tune into my body long enough to notice that I don’t feel nearly as bad as I think I do
A while back, I created this Five Step Fix for Getting Unstuck. In the few times I’ve been too far looped into my own dramatic brain reenactments of past or future events to see actual facts or feelings. Some of these (if not all of them) help me come back to reality so that I see more clearly.
Please print it and keep it near your desk or your bedside or wherever anxiety seems to try to take you down the most often. Share it with your people. Remember that this TINY moment is a chance to be gentle enough to check in again and again and again.
You’re awesome. Seriously. (Don’t forget it.)