Despite my ardent preaching against the evil messages of the media and the disgusting obsession of the fitness industry with the “get lean quick!” … I found myself driving into work yesterday pondering the merits of the gallon of water challenge, detox tea and copious amounts of kettlebell swings. We’re going to Mexico this week and it dawned on me that
Hawaii in Jan 2013. Accompanied by the worst upper respiratory virus I’ve had to date and the freedom of my first month E.D. free in nearly 12 years. I ate cinnamon rolls from a can guilt-free two weeks before this photo was taken. They were delicious. It was a milestone.
I am planning to bare myself to the beach-going public without fasting, cardio-ing, flushing or even caring.
About 5 seconds of panic ensued before I came to the following conclusions:
a: For the first time EVER, I get to go on vacation without having spent the two weeks prior watching everything I put in my mouth, beating myself up in the gym and drinking more water than any human actually needs. I feel so FREE!! (And – if I’m being frank – I did an ab check this morning and I look better than I did when I spent two weeks eating chicken and broccoli and doing the potty dance between swigs of cranberry/pu-erh/ lemon water torture.)
b: I’m a little sad that I’m still subject to the programming I’ve spent 15 years years trying to uninstall. My knee jerk reaction is still “but I’m not bikini ready!” Fuck that. And F#@! the people who make money telling me, and you, and beautiful 12 year old girls that their body isn’t good enough if they haven’t abused it for a while.
There’s this meme out there that’s been floating around for a while that says “To get a bikini body: Put a bikini on your body.” I’m so tired of hearing it because it’s oversimplified for the humans who are terrified of their own skin. But it’s painfully true.
Anne Lamott wrote some time ago and I hope to live my life by it:
“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart.”
Bravo Annie! Thank You for your brave post. I experienced my first vacation feeling comfortable in my own skin last month. I lived in my bathing suit for 2 weeks, ate macadamia nut pancakes, drank fruity drinks, and didn’t weigh myself once while I was there. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and it was so freeing. My husband said he’d never seen me so happy. I still have a tummy but I am fit and strong and that is way more important. You are an amazing role model and I feel so fortunate to have trained with you. Thank You for being you!
Happy tears and so much love to you, my beautiful, strong, amazing friend! I’m so happy for you and glad you get such a nice vacation. Enjoy it!
You are a rockstar Anne… I love this… I hope EVERYONE gets a chance to read this… Enjoy your trip!
Love you. 😊
Ann, even from across the country you continue to inspire me, in so many ways! While I miss working out with you personally, I still have all of my workouts that I do at home as time allows and I’m learning not to beat myself up on the days I don’t get to them. I love reading your posts and enjoy seeing you build your business. You’ve motivated me and I am now pursuing my own dream of building a coaching business. 2016 is gonna seriously rock! Thank you for keeping my chin up and my body image in check. Lots of love to you!
You are awesome Anne! You and Anne Lamott are inspirational! Wish I was there with you!
Carol